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My girlfriend stopped having sex with me after her mum died

SINCE the death of her mother, my girlfriend has pushed me out of her life.I love her and want to be there for her, but she says she needs a break. I’m a 40-year-old divorced dad of two and I’ve been seeing my girlfriend, who is 34, for two years. We had a brilliant relationship […] ...

SINCE the death of her mother, my girlfriend has pushed me out of her life.
I love her and want to be there for her, but she says she needs a break.

I’m a 40-year-old divorced dad of two and I’ve been seeing my girlfriend, who is 34, for two years.

Her mother died suddenly and a month on she says she isn’t sure about our future

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We had a brilliant relationship and a good sex life and we were even talking about moving in together.

But then her mother had a heart attack and died suddenly at the age of 59. My partner, who is an only child, was naturally devastated.

I stayed with her for two weeks, helping her with the funeral arrangements and sorting out her mum’s things.

I thought it had brought us closer. But now, a month on, she’s cooled towards me.

She says she needs space to be alone and isn’t sure about our future. We’ve stopped having sex and she has said she’s too busy to see me.

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I don’t understand why she’s being like this. It’s really hurtful and confusing.

Should I give up on her?

DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t give up on her. She’s grieving, in pain and protecting herself by putting up walls.

It’s not logical, but maybe she’s pushing you away because she’s scared of losing you too.

Be patient. Give her space but show her you’re there for her.

I’m sending you my support pack on Bereavement which explains more. If you think she would be receptive, perhaps you can give her a copy, too.

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